{A retelling that gives you a look into just how paranoid I can get.}



Pah! To hell with this, I thought, as I left my desk for the night. I went downstairs and attempted to make some dinner, though we had little and I very picky... I remembered I had picked up some instant mashed potatoes that boasted flavour like the original... so I figured it'd be quick, why not?
Whipped them up, and was OH-so sorely disappointed. And disgusted with the smell. It made me sick. Almost enough to throw up... but when it dissapated, I still hungered.

We needed a few items, so I figured it wasn't -too- late. I'd make the effort, despite my normally very lazy ways, to grab the few items I needed and return home.
While driving, my demeanor was still quite cold and dark... it continued to lust for a worthy battle of some kind after being left quite unsatisfied from a bitter loss and chaos of Wintergrasp. ( A PVP battleground, for those who aren't familiar )
At the very least, being highly observing and calculating whilst I drove helped calm myself a little. ( I generally am like that already... but the serious attitude made it more severe... and heightened my paranoia some. )
I analyzed everything to cross my path, people's speeds, why they traveled so, their direction, where they might be going... Why I saw three police cruisers out in a pack while officers conversed.

As I neared my destination, I was on a three-lane street, with a short sprint between lights ahead of me. No driver to my left and only two to my right.... and the first within my sight drove in a docile manner, in the far right lane and intending to turn onto the freeway.
But the driver behind her was most anxious indeed... vicious even.
As the light changed to green, I saw the light ahead shift to yellow.. then red. The sprint needn't be made to make the light now...
But the vicious driver sped up and took the barely narrow space between the docile one and myself to cut me off.
I was irked... and felt.. challenged. Alright, I thought as I gripped my wheel tightly, you want to cut infront of me? Then you're going to damn well earn it. I hope it was worth it.
I sped up and rode their tail like no tomorrow. They realized and took off, blazing through the next two lights, but I followed expertly, a foot tenatively close to my break in case they were as daring as I to possibly break. As my turn off to the market neared, I weaned a little, only to find they were turning as well. So I continued to hastily ride their ass down the next few lanes and turns into the long driveway of the store.

And as we reached the front, I snorted and finally let them off the hook, making a hairpin turn into the next available parking aisle, snatched a front-row spot and watched them glide off, as I was 'victorious'.

I fetched my mp3 player from my car and as I fiddled with it in the parking lot, I saw a recently parked car a few lanes over... and 4 big black men stepped out, looking at each other and talking... I watched intently until I felt what I thought was a glance in my direction.. I hastily turned away my gaze and acted casual... while all the time I felt myself panicking.

Why, oh WHY did I choose to fight? Why did I let my stupid post-fantasy reverie slip in and decide to put up my proverbial sword and shield?
An uppity, teenage brat driving like a reckless, mannerless fool I could easily tolerate.. and expected, from that driving style, but THIS?! AH!!
Such aggression, I'd surely regret it now!!

I could very well be killed now, angering whom I was certain were the passengers of the car I'd just tailed. Our area was notorious for gangs and dangerous 'cliques'...
If they knew it was me... all alone... at night...

I shivered and walked briskly into the store. Before they could walk to the entrance, I took the leeway given and quickly darted through various aisles to the far right of the door, the produce section where I doubted snackers would go, and proceeded.
As I walked past aisle after aisle... still faintly remembering why I was there, my mind was racing with thoughts of what to do next. If they had ANY idea of who I was, and I worried they might, then I may well need to find a way to look inconspicuous. My mind instantly shifted to my appearance. White female, dark blue jeans, black sweater jacket, long, wavy blonde hair tucked under a black baseball cap.

Of course! If I would just change it, then that cursory glance from afar would be useless.
It wouldn't need to be an extreme change, just enough so someone from afar couldn't be certain if I was whom they'd just changed. I quickly slipped off my cap and fastened it to my beltloop. I looked down and froze, I wasn't wearing a tanktop underneath my jacket. Nothing. Just my bare self. Taking the jacket off and tying it round my waist was a useless thought now.
What else.. what else...
OH!
My hair! It was too obvious kept down anyway.. they might be able to tell I just took off my cap. I would have to put it back.
Damn, no hair ties on me.... but look where I am! I can buy some, I'm sure...

With my ideas in place, I quickly grabbed what I came for and new items added to my list.. I slipped through the back of the store as I saw more people enter, unsure if they were my adversaries or simple patrons.

Zigzagging through more aisles, I finally made my way to the register, paid, and slinked off to the bathroom where I quickly tied up my hair in a high ponytail with a scrunchie. Not the best, but a significant change from when I entered the store.

As I neared the exit, I panicked. What if I was still seen? I was all alone... I saw a man sitting on a bench nearby, a worker on his cell phone. I pleaded for him to escourt me to my car, as I didn't feel safe and had a rough night... Thankfully, he obliged, figuring maybe I was just some quirky girl who was tired.

After a short walk that felt like the length of a football field, I finally made it to my car and thanked him. I jumped in, slammed the door tight and locked myself in. Safe at last!
...or was I?

Through my heightened paranoia, I still felt I was not yet in the clear... not just yet.
I quickly devised my route to deter and easily discover if one was following me...
I went the longest possible route, taking so many maddening turns, circling around the mall even, before finally slipping into semi-busy traffic and then onto some more main streets til I finally reached home in one shaking piece.

Egads, my heart... If that didn't shave a year off my life...

And here I am... home.. shivering... and just glad to be alive.
I think this may be the end of my attempting to teach other drivers a "lesson" for being so rude to me.... at least for a while.

Hopefully I've taken a page from my own book and learned a thing or two now.
Ah...

What a night. Ugh.

~Arty